Sunday, March 13, 2011

Friday, March 11, 2011

in trouble

No walks. None.


So when I went outside today, what did I see? Yummy trash on the ground. A gift, if you will. The smells were amazing.

I know I'm not suppose to touch it. But what is a bored labbie to do? I'm only a dog.

So I ate.

Chicken bones. Yum. Chicken skins. Yum. Other various types of human food. Yum.

Mom was NOT pleased. I kinda made a mess. I was in trouuuuuuble.


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Sunday, February 13, 2011

we'll just label, this....what the hell was she thinking?

so you all know that i love my human mom. seriously she is the one human i can always count on.

until today. she lost her mind.

it was the first day in WEEKS of hellish winter that we had a nice day. she PROMISED a walk. whatever. she decided to spend the day leaving in her jeep and then cleaning stuff from the garage. she didn't know i was listening, but i overheard her talking to my human brother that it was "too windy" to walk.

the sun is out. it's like 58 degrees whatever that means. all i know there is no white stuff on the ground, so let's hit the road.

all of a sudden she pulls out the yellow hairbrush that feels amazing on my dry, flaky, itchy winter coat that is blowing out. so i politely stand there and let her brush me.

THEN she says i need a bath. won't lie, not a huge fan of our cramped up bathroom tub with the weird sliding doors. but i see her coming outside with the shampoo and a towel. okay, cool i love to play in the driveway with water.

in horror and to my shocking surprise, the water that came out of that long green snaky thingee feels like pure ice. not cold. no. ice, ice, baby. she's yelling at me and i'm jumping around feeling my heart beat out of my chest. just when i think this is going to end, she starts soaping me up.

is she kidding? at my first opportunity (and i have to say in almost five years i have never done this) i take off running from her. she calls me back and every fiber of me wants to obey....but she's still holding the icy green snake thing. i know what is coming.

so she gets me back and of course douses me with more cold torture. just when i think i cannot take anymore and may have to BITE the green snake, my human brother comes out holding a big blue pitcher.....of pure warm/hot water.

aaaahhhhhhhhhh. three more times of the blue pitcher and i am feeling great.

mom, lick you much, but can we wait till summer? or until the green snake thingee warms up? jeez.

ps. i do feel better, but i'm not telling her lest she wants to make this a weekly thing.


Saturday, February 12, 2011

it's me...

i hate winter. no outdoor walks. I just lay around, get petted and eat. nothing deters me from eating.

I won't lie. im out if shape and have put on a few pounds. but so has my human mom. so i am in good company. hope she doesn't read this.

miss the walks....